I've been awake since 3 am .
Washed dishes and made cup of tea
Soothing
Pre chemo anxiety.probably
Tummy upset.
Bleeding into the catheter bag. Not unusual , but still a concern as mind starts making up stories and saying : " see.. proof that that something is amiss ".
" Flippin heck " another voice chimes in " what are you like , you big girl's blouse . You will be fine , Stop being so melodramatic "
Subpersonalities, the people inside us are such fun !
My healing oracle says :
" Stop resisting . Embrace the changes in your life. Release what you no longer need, and welcome the seeds of new experience "
On Facebook I happen to see Panache's post:
Panache Desai:
"Moving into abundance means counting your blessings -- even the events, people or afflictions that don't look like blessings."
YES , I believe this , and this belief is certainly being put to the test right now.
I am facing my demons .
I've feared getting cancer, but more than cancer and dying , I've feared chemo and the thought of poison being injected into my body, which does not make sense . The demon is staring me in the face now. So what do I do ? Run ? No . Not an option. I am determined to face this demon knowing that somehow only good will come of it . Feel the fear and do it anyway. Embrace it. Think of it as sending in a task force to do a clean up and get rid of all that is no longer required... a bit like using the steam mop on the kitchen and bathroom floor.
Thank you dear readers and Penny , Dace and Margaret and Ninghal , for your emails I love you and your loving support . Will reply soon,
Now for a little more sleep ..... peace zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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