Purging and washing

A day indoors , doing piles of laundry .

Purging - many trips to the loo ,  dumping what is no longer needed :-) 

Skin around tummy , groin and under arms is itchy.

The best medicine

Quick visit from son and grandson
Tea , cuddles , chocolate biscuits
MacLappy received TLC too .

Bright and sunny day .

A bright and sunny day

09:30 Phone rings. Turns out to be a wrong number

Sounds like an old and very confused lady 

Felt a chill - presence of spirit ? 

Asked angels to help her

Wish I could have done more

Sorry , lady

I take these synchronicities seriously 

The chilly feeling stayed with me for a while. Felt like the lady's husband was trying to help her through me. She had the first four digits of my phone number correct, but after that a string of numbers that I didn't recognise at all. 

*sighs* 

10/10 dream 

Another dream set in a large company/ Institution 

Offices 

A big building with many exists and entries 

Plenty of staff around and beaurocrocy 

I leave taking the Sveavagen exit but when I get there find myself in a totally unfamiliar part of town

I see grey industrial buildings and factories

A quay and river in the distance 

Black and white and shades of grey 

I use my old mobile to get in touch with mum and dad who are giving me a lift 

I have my red overnight suitcase and couple pieces of luggage but keep losing a piece of luggage 

There's a backpacker's hostel 

Lots of backpackers coming and going 

I have my luggage now but not my suitcase - gone 

A group of people offer me a lift onto the right road, as it is too far to walk

Body : still itching a bit bit bearable 

Feelings : calm. Sadness, tears stream down my cheeks during morning meditation. I breathe through it and the tears stop. A conversation with the divine . 

Mind : Thinking about Truth and Lies . Authenticity and Truth are important to me. I have deceived myself and others and have also been deceived. 

Say not that you have found THE TRUTH , but rather an aspect of the THE TRUTH 

Lena and I drive out to the wig place

I am now a wig owner :-) 

Made some very yummy cauliflower and broccoli soup. 

Sleep , sleep and more sleep

Sleeping eating and napping seems to sum up these past couple of days
I did venture out to do some food shopping yesterday and returned with shopping trolly full of basics


Thursday 9/10 , 22:10 Bed after bath falling asleep
13° C Mist and Fog

Every challenge gives you the gift of becoming

9/10 Dream
I'm get in touch with anger.
Big old company / institution setting .
Manager gives me instructions that I am to follow exactly .
I start to get nervous as I know I will mess up the details  - but she doesn't understand
When we make contact with the helicopter ((( !!!! ))))  I am to say a few numbers in French .
I get it wrong .
Moment passes .
We try again .
I get more and more angry and finally refuse, feeling livid .
Another woman is called in who knows exactly dress, and behave , but that only makes it worse . I I have a meltdown .
On waking I realise I have been in touch with my anger and it feels good !

Body :  Skin around my groin , tummy and underarms is itching quite a bit. Slight rash visible

Mind :  Peaceful and calm apart from dealing with techie things ; downloading mp3s and transferring to iPhone that has run out of space. Need to transfer videos to macbook before deleting , but not sure how to do that . Updated iPad successfully YAY .... achievement :-)

Feeling : OK . Happy even. Content

Spirit : Buoyant .

Thank you , Magnus and Julia

I think this is the one

Monday , Tuesday Wednesday

Hello Bladder Blog and faithful readers

Wednesday today , I think . What happened to Monday and Tuesday ?
Let's see


Monday : 6/10
A full day
Didn't want to get up out of my cosy bed, feeling weak and drained from two days of diarrhoea .Emptying shit . Imagining all the while that 'all that I no longer need is going down the toilet ' made me feel good.

It wasn't so bad once I got dressed and got going.
Took the bus and then a short walk up the hill to the hospital .
First the lab to leave bloods before 10:30
Sat down to collect thoughts and answer the phone
Next appointment with counsellor Birgitta in the bowels of the earth ,  -2 floor,  at the hospital .

Useful tips : Be gentle with yourself . Listen to your body and whims . What applies now , may not be true a little later. Go with the flow . Keep asking yourself :  " What do I need right NOW ? " throughout the day . Let your friends know that the effects of chemo will be affecting you . In a way it is like being pregnant . Rest .

Enjoyed the mindfulness exercise at the end of our session. A bit like a workout for the soul .

12:30 Jill picks me up outside the hospital. Lunch , chat and sushi . Miso soup tasted fab !

14:15 Lena and I go in search of wigs . Found a lovely one . Brought it home with me to try on at leisure . Haven't got round to that yet. Have it till Friday to decide , keep it or not.

Tuesday 7/10

Second chemo
A cold and blustery day . Perfect for chemo , said Alex in his text lol
Gun arrived with greetings and flowers from Magnus and Julia . I am touched and overwhelmed.

The session at the hospital,was actually quite enjoyable . Fun almost , thanks to Gun keeping me company . There were delays, a few cups of tea and by 5pm we were both ravenous . Pizza to the rescue , then bath and bed and 10 hours sleep straight through . Amazing

Today, Wednesday   8/10 :

15:30 . Christine sent me healing . Felt a surge of heat and energy. Had to lie down for a bit to breathe , allow and receive

Time to eat again ,  So far today , I've had a banana , 2 egg omelette , tea , vitamin C and a few chocolate biscuits .

Thank you all for love , blessings and healing energy support.

Catch you later .......

Love love love ...