Sunday , 19 April 2015
Hello blog, hello friends and readers.
I did intend to keep posting , but that simply didn't happen.
Why ?
Lack of energy
Mundane activities taking over
Incoherent and jumbled thoughts
Painful sitting down at the computer due to all the work done 'down there where the sun don't shine '
Spirit is willing but flesh is weak
A few dark days
Straight after the Big Op , 21- 24 January , there were a couple of dark days, but thanks to help and support from the medical staff and a session with the counsellor , they turned out to be just bumps in the road.
An Earth Angel appears
I am so grateful to Oscar , a male nurse , from the Philippines who popped in to see me on returning from his 4 days off .
"How's your tummy ? " he asks , in English , and not it Swedish , opening up a flow of words in me.
" You are starting your new life " he says matter of fact, and it all starts to make sense ,
The following day, the counsellor pops in to see me ,
I talk, she listens , and then wraps my story up in words.
By the way , this past week , I've had a few concerns , upset tummy and temperature of 38.5 at times. Normally I would not be too concerned , but this living with a stoma is still new to me and so I decided to phone the hospital ward where I was admitted at the hospital , not wishing to brave the emergency department unnecessarily and all the waiting etc .
I soon realised that the person who answered the phone on the ward was Oscar, the very same , who again talked to me about my symptoms and told me to take a couple of paracetamol for the temperature and call again in the morning. I liked the sound of this , preferable to spending an uncomfortable night at the hospital. By morning the temperature was down .
An eight year journey
This particular journey of mine , spans 8 years, starting in 2007 when a benign tumour of " low malignant potential " was removed . Regular check ups followed and stopped , but peeing problems persisted.
Persisted and persisted , but no solution was forthcoming for my inability to pee and empty my bladder properly .
"Must be your fibroids " ( the size of a grapefruit ) - " Time to have them out "
So, on the 20th January, 2014, I had a total hysterectomy
Quite a big thing for a woman .
"LIV-MODERN " in Swedish translates literally as "THE LIFE MOTHER"
I dreaded that , and sailed through the op remarkably well , but I still couldn't pee properly so ended to living with a urinary catheter and bag for a whole year . Another story .
Loss and grieving
It became clear to me that, not only was I recovering from two big operations within the space of a year , I must also be grieving the loss of several body parts : uterus , ovaries, lymph glands , urethra , bladder and a considerable part of my vagina.
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