A whole week has whizzed by dealing with pests .

Time flies when you are having fun - or when you have something to obsess about.
I've been slightly OCD about the infestation of meal moths in my kitchen cupboard that must have stowed away in an organic eco friendly bag of flour or cereal . Pesky little things causing a lot of bother.  I've thrown away open bags of flour , cereal, couscous, bulgur and oats as well as anything else that has shown signs of contamination , such as eggs or silver like threads of cocoon around the edges of packaging . I've scrubbed , vacuumed , steamed , and disinfected and still they appeared on the ceiling and in the cupboard  seemingly able to hide away in the tiniest of spaces.

On Friday , or was it Saturday , I can't remember I decided it was time for the heavy artillery and sprayed the whole cupboard , adjoining cupboard and above the cupboard with deadly pest control spray; very stinky. By Sunday I found a couple of dead bodies in the cupboard and a few dazed ones. On Monday also a couple . Today . none . Fingers crossed , I hope this is the end of the pesky intruders . We  shall see. I am going to be vigilant .

What a way to spend my 'week off '  in-between chemos. Cycle 3 , starts on Tuesday 25 November and before that an appointment with the oncologist to discuss MRI results.

All this physical activity and cleaning has been exhausting . I slept from midnight till 11 am this morning , with stressful dreams. In my dream I 'm  in a railway station in London trying to find the  right platform . I also need a ticket , but they've changed the system so now you can only buy a ticket outside the station in a shop across the street . It is unclear where. At one point someone tells me the right platform and we start running towards it , but it is too late , The train is already leaving the station.

There is not much difference between day and night . Days are dark, grey and misty. By  2 or 3 pm it is already dark . Waking up at 11 am means that the three hours of 'daylight' disappear rapidly while I am waking up , getting dressed and having breakfast / brunch .

So there you have it,

Today I made scones ; old friend visiting from Helsinki popped in for tea.
Luverly-

Now nearly 11 pm , *time for bed, said Zebedee .... as they all got on the Magic Roundabout *

Onwards ......

TTFN for now !

Bright and sunny day .

A bright and sunny day

09:30 Phone rings. Turns out to be a wrong number

Sounds like an old and very confused lady 

Felt a chill - presence of spirit ? 

Asked angels to help her

Wish I could have done more

Sorry , lady

I take these synchronicities seriously 

The chilly feeling stayed with me for a while. Felt like the lady's husband was trying to help her through me. She had the first four digits of my phone number correct, but after that a string of numbers that I didn't recognise at all. 

*sighs* 

10/10 dream 

Another dream set in a large company/ Institution 

Offices 

A big building with many exists and entries 

Plenty of staff around and beaurocrocy 

I leave taking the Sveavagen exit but when I get there find myself in a totally unfamiliar part of town

I see grey industrial buildings and factories

A quay and river in the distance 

Black and white and shades of grey 

I use my old mobile to get in touch with mum and dad who are giving me a lift 

I have my red overnight suitcase and couple pieces of luggage but keep losing a piece of luggage 

There's a backpacker's hostel 

Lots of backpackers coming and going 

I have my luggage now but not my suitcase - gone 

A group of people offer me a lift onto the right road, as it is too far to walk

Body : still itching a bit bit bearable 

Feelings : calm. Sadness, tears stream down my cheeks during morning meditation. I breathe through it and the tears stop. A conversation with the divine . 

Mind : Thinking about Truth and Lies . Authenticity and Truth are important to me. I have deceived myself and others and have also been deceived. 

Say not that you have found THE TRUTH , but rather an aspect of the THE TRUTH 

Lena and I drive out to the wig place

I am now a wig owner :-) 

Made some very yummy cauliflower and broccoli soup. 

Sleep , sleep and more sleep

Sleeping eating and napping seems to sum up these past couple of days
I did venture out to do some food shopping yesterday and returned with shopping trolly full of basics


Thursday 9/10 , 22:10 Bed after bath falling asleep
13° C Mist and Fog

Every challenge gives you the gift of becoming

9/10 Dream
I'm get in touch with anger.
Big old company / institution setting .
Manager gives me instructions that I am to follow exactly .
I start to get nervous as I know I will mess up the details  - but she doesn't understand
When we make contact with the helicopter ((( !!!! ))))  I am to say a few numbers in French .
I get it wrong .
Moment passes .
We try again .
I get more and more angry and finally refuse, feeling livid .
Another woman is called in who knows exactly dress, and behave , but that only makes it worse . I I have a meltdown .
On waking I realise I have been in touch with my anger and it feels good !

Body :  Skin around my groin , tummy and underarms is itching quite a bit. Slight rash visible

Mind :  Peaceful and calm apart from dealing with techie things ; downloading mp3s and transferring to iPhone that has run out of space. Need to transfer videos to macbook before deleting , but not sure how to do that . Updated iPad successfully YAY .... achievement :-)

Feeling : OK . Happy even. Content

Spirit : Buoyant .

DAY 4 : Diarrhoea .

01:00- 01 ; 30  Loo and runny poo

Slept through the night and a dream . In the dream  Monica and I take a bus to a small town with a shops around the square. We are looking for an address , shop or premises situated near the square . Directions vague and unclear.  I buy some padded soles for my shoes, to ease pinching. A leisurely feeling of exploring without demands and expectations.


08:30 Good morning world. Grateful for a good night's sleep. Tummy a little upset , gurgling and making noises , more runny poo, but, emptying feels good. No cramps. Better to purge down than up, I say .

Thinking about losing weight and my weight story . I have plenty of reserves , so not concerned , just curious. I seldom weigh myself , but consulting diary from Novermber 2013, I see 82kilos . Latest weight at hospital  78.6 kilos. Some weight gone without  even trying. Mid twenties , just before getting pregnant  , I was a slim 52kilos.  A decade or so later I attained that weight again through conscientiously  following The Beverly Hills Diet for a few months or maybe even a year .However, over the years that followed decided ' eff all that ..... I am going to eat , eat sensibly , healthily but what I damn well like .. and take the consequences. ( avoiding junk, processed foods, soft drinks etc with artificial stuff ) And so it was and so it is. I love and enjoy my food , preparing food and socialising over food and drink . Nuff said. Maybe all that will change now ? Who knows.

Cloudy drizzly day outside . Magpies chattering loudly outside in the yard exchanging gossip.
Anti nausea meds , 8 tiny fizzy tablets in water today, cutting down from 16. Cortisone ,  they say.

Sipping a glass of hot water, following on with green tea and a banana and maybe porridge  today.
09: 25  TTFN ....  catch you later